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Chant real fast and chant real loud.
Chant real fast and chant real loud.
Chant real fast and chant real loud 'cause it 
makes folks nervous and
        keeps 'em away from our
                camps in the woods where we
                        chant and train and
                                beat our kids.

Buy up guns and stockpile weapons for the
day when they come to
        collect back taxes and
                make us move and
                        throw us in jail.....
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Monastery Food

Here it comes out from the kitchen,
this evening's bowl of gruel.
So it's not right to sit here bitchin'.
I'm supposed to be God's tool.
We eat it nearly every evening.
If we're lucky it is warm.
I look at it and feel like heavin'.
What's that thing?  I hope it's corn.

Jesus wants us to live humbly,
but he was there in Isreal.
Jesus tread the Med'terrainean,
eating grapes and olive oil.

Why can't we have a burger.
Don't think I can go further.
Why can't I have a large fry.
One more bowl of gruel and I'll die.

I am just a worthless Monk.
I am just a man of God,
but I'd sure like to have some meat.
A piece of liver, maybe cod.
I would crawl to MacDonald's,
One hundred miles on my knees.
I would even go to Wendy's,
White Castle, Carl's, or Burger King.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something to the brother cook?
Mother Mary talk to him,
at least get him to use a book!

Why can't we call out to Domino's?

Else I think I might vomit. Oh!!
What harm is one small pizza?
No veggies, all the meats!! Oh, God.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Bonus unreleased Director's Cut.
Inspired by the life of Michael Jackson,
  and various controversial theories
    about the sexuality of the disciples,
 NOW SUPER TIMELY FOR 2002!!!!]

There he follows just behind me,
crowding every step I take,
tempting me to act unholy.
Innocent his little face.
Waiting like a little puppy.
Looks up to me like a dad.
Tempting me to act unholy.
God help me, I'll do something bad.

Jesus must have had such thoughts.
Maybe acted upon them.
Jesus could have had some doubts.
Aren't we s'posed to be like him?

Why am I such a sinner?
Just want to start things over.
Why am I such a sinner?
Just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave.
I will work to elevate you 
just so I can bring us down.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something that will pass the time.
Mother Mary won't you whisper.
Work your miracles sublime.

Why am I such a sinner?
Just want to start things over.
Why am I such a sinner?
Just want to start this over.
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