My condolences to you for finding yourself here. But do not lose heart. Everything happens for the best, and you will leave this site wiser than you entered. You will have learned, for instance, not to visit it again.

But now that you are here (evil smirk) . . . Ahem. The less said of my schemes, the better.

If you came via the Princeton University Computer Science Graduate Student page (and now even if you didn't), my background information should be obvious. Let's just add: third year Ph.D. (hopeful, if all goes well, and other such disclaimers understood).

Before this, I studied at Bryn Mawr College, majoring in Computer Science (who would have thought it?) and Mathematics.

You may look up my current contact information if you promise not to gush too much over the portrait.

In case you were wondering, I have separately typed in and deleted two unnecessary paragraphs that could have gone here. So stop yawning. It is quite rude. Thank you.